HERE ARE 5 THINGS YOU MUST NEVER SAY IF YOU WANT TO BE MORE CONFIDENT...
CONFIDENT PEOPLE NEVER SAY THESE 5 WORDS...
You want to radiate confidence.
You want to get paid as much as you’re worth.
You want to have that gorgeous, secure energy that comes from a confident, poised, well-spoken individual.
You want to earn respect from people you admire.
But if you’re using these five words, you may be holding yourself back from attracting the love and money you deserve.
You may be too afraid to take the risks you need to get to that next level of love or business.
Listen closely as I tell you what those five words are…
(…The last one will shock you!)
1. Sorry.
Did you think that saying “sorry” made you a nicer person?
Well the truth is, you’re saying it too much.
Sorry is most often abused…
… and the one who is hurting is yourself.
That’s right, saying sorry subordinates you below others.
When you apologize too much, you take responsibility for things going wrong; and too often we apologize for things that aren’t our fault.
Women, coincidentally, apologize much more than men.
What’s more, studies show that women feel more guilt and shame over the things for which they’re apologizing; even if they didn’t do anything wrong!
This kills your confidence.
Do you find yourself saying “sorry” for things that aren’t your fault? Like accidentally bumping somebody with your shopping cart?
Do you find yourself saying sorry during an argument because you want it to end?
Do you say sorry so much that it feels like everything bad happening around you is your fault?
Stop manifesting guilt and shame.
If you want to be a confident person, you will stop saying sorry.
Here’s what you should say instead…
“Thank you…”
🙏 Thank you for waiting while I tended to my child.
🙏 Thank you for understanding my side of the story.
🙏 Thank you for listening when I know you’re feeling angry.
🙏 Thank you for holding the door open for me.
🙏 Thank you for wanting me to come and visit.
🙏 Thank you for sharing your business idea with me.
Don’t you feel better already?
2. You “Shouldn’t” Say This…
Here’s the next word you mustn’t ever say if you want to be a confident person.
“Should.”
When I began my confidence journey, this was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn.
As a type-A eldest child, I am prone to perfectionism, winning, competitiveness, and self-flagellating.
From the moment I wake up it’s a battle of what I want versus what I think I “should” do.
One of my dear friends and coaches once spent time teaching me why I can never say should again!
😢 When we have too many “should’s” in our lives, we are always doing something.
😢 We are always busy.
😢 We are never feeling like we’re “enough”.
😃 When you are confident, however, you are:
💪 Brave enough to take risks
💪 Strong enough to forgive yourself and others
💪 Smart enough to know when to stop and rest
There will always be more to do and when we adhere ourselves to being more and more accomplishment, achievement, and productivity-oriented, we burn out.
People brag about being busy…
… And then they burnout; hurting themselves, their jobs, and the people they love in the process.
😯 You can be so busy with “shoulds” that you miss the big
picture…
😯 You can be so busy with “shoulds” that you miss out on small
but critical details that would help you pivot in a new direction.
😯 You can be so “busy” trying to create a white-picket fence
dream of a relationship you “should” have by now that you
ignore red flags and end up in a relationship that’s wrong, or
even abusive!
Use these three tips to help you change your language from codependent and negative to strong and positive right now >
3. This One Might Be The Hardest To Get Rid Of...
The next word you need to eradicate from your vocabulary is “never”.
The problem with the word never is that it sets you up for failure.
Think about how many times you’ve said, “I would never say that” or “I would never do that”.
When you eventually do that thing, you now feel shame.
You’ve let yourself down.
You may even have let others down.
And worst of all, you’ve made yourself a liar.
There’s another problem with the word “never”.
The word “never” actually is very snobby.
You see, when we say we would “never” do something, we’re telliing other people that we’re above reproach.
We’re saying that we’re better than a normal human, who naturally makes mistakes all the time!
When we say that we are “never” doing something, we are essentially saying that we’re so smart; we have a crystal ball and we know exactly what the future holds.
That’s hogwash!
Nobody is that smart. Nobody knows the entire future.
4. If You’re Saying This, You Definitely Lack Confidence…
🥱 How do you feel? “Fine.”
🥱 Let’s have Italian for dinner tonight. “Fine.”
🥱 Let’s take our family vacation to Disneyworld. “Fine.”
Do you see how boring and uninteresting it could be to spend time with somebody who always says fine?
I always said I’d never get divorced; I was a good Christian girl growing up.
But when I got married, I was trying too hard.
I wanted to give my husband everything.
I never wanted my needs or desires to “get in the way” of his.
So I said “fine”... a lot!
Saying “fine” sabotages your self-confidence.
When you say “fine”, you’re not being brave.
When you tell somebody you’re “fine”, it’s a red flag that you’re actually very not fine!
A confident man or woman knows how to state his or her truth.
One business mentor of mine used to say that everything should be either a “heck yes” or a “heck no”. He may have used more colorful language, actually!
If something didn’t give me a “heck yes”, then it was a “heck no!”
That’s when I decided to start saying NO to a lot more things that were otherwise “just fine”.
In other words, I began to seek a life of YES.
This brings us to our final word that you must STOP saying if you want to be a confident person…
5. The Power of No…
Now that we’ve discussed taking the word “fine” out of our vernaculars, we can discuss stopping using the word “yes”.
A dear friend of mine, Emily Rose, once said, “don’t dim your own spirit to try to ignite the light of another.”
When I began putting together my 60 Day Confidence Bootcamp, the power of “no” was one of my very first chapters and lessons.
That’s because for many years - nay - decades of my life - I never said “no”!
I was a people pleaser.
I said yes to almost everybody for every request; no matter how exhausted broke, or uninterested I was.
Look, I’m going to say it right here: people-pleasing kills confidence.
When you do something just to please another person, you’re saying, “this person is more important than me” or “his needs are more important than mine”.
When you do something just to please another person, you’re admitting that you aren’t worthy to express your own needs; that others’ needs come before yours.
People who lack confidence have a hard time saying "no".
In fact, they come up with endless ways to say no without actually saying the word no at all!
👿 They’ll tend to be passive aggressive…
👿 They’ll get silent…
👿 They’ll even act like something didn’t happen…
👿 But they don’t just stick their necks out and say, “no”.
Why is this?
For one, in our culture women have been taught to be people pleasers for generations.
We haven’t refined our skill at saying no!
Some people, especially women, struggle to say no due to generations of women who were silenced by their husbands or even persecuted for being themselves.
We learned this self-sabotaging behavior from parents and grandparents!
🎯 Until you learn to say no, you will be exhausted.
🎯 Until you learn to say no, you will make yourself lower than
others.
🎯 Until you learn to say no, you will say to yourself, ‘I am not
worthy’.
🎯 Saying no is a critical part of your self-confidence journey.
🤔 Do you have self-confidence?
💪 Do you feel brave enough to take big risks?
✌️ Do you believe that you will succeed when you do?
🥋 Do you let what others think about you “roll off your back”?
👑 Do you live without body shaming or “fat days”?
💋 Do you feel radiantly confident in the boardroom…and the
bedroom?
If you answered “no” to any of these questions, enter your email immediately here so that we can work together on getting your, self-confidence up to snuff!